


Stubborn as Stone

by IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Muggle, Angst, Canonical Character Death, HEA, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, M/M, Reconciliation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-17
Updated: 2019-09-17
Packaged: 2020-10-20 18:57:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20680307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis/pseuds/IhaveAbadfeelingAboutThis
Summary: Albus still loves Gellert - does Gellert still love Albus?





	Stubborn as Stone

**Author's Note:**

> I labeled this 'underage,' though I'm not sure it was strictly necessary to do so? Albus and Gellert are in their last months of high school, so it is conceivable - even likely - that they are both 18 already. But they could have summer birthdays? I don't know. Labeled it that way out of an abundance of caution.
> 
> The title of the fic is from the Imagine Dragons song "Second Chances" - one of the _many_ songs that pushed me to write this.
> 
> So - I'm in the middle of two (three, depending on how you count) multi-chapter fics, but this idea just would not leave me alone.  
I set it in the U.S. because I don't know anything about going to high school in the U.K., except that they are *not* called high schools, LOL I don't even know what they _are_ called, which is unconscionable, since one of my best friends teaches in a not-high-school in the UK - sorry Mr. G.!
> 
> Warning: Aberforth is going to use A LOT of hateful homophobic language. I can send you a clean copy if the language will be triggering for you, but you still want to read this anyway

1/ 

Gellert went to the door and opened it before Albus could ring the bell.  
“Who’s that, sweetie?” came the voice of Gellert’s mom from the back of the house.  
“Just Albus, Mom. We’re going upstairs to work on some homework together.”  
Mrs. Grindelwald emerged from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her jeans.  
“Good to see you Albus. Don’t let Gell talk you into playing video games the whole time.”  
God, wasn’t that insulting? She trusted Albus more than her own son.  
“Sure, Mrs. Grindelwald.”  
Gellert thought about saying something to his mom, but couldn’t trust himself not to start an argument. He didn’t want to waste what little time he got with Albus.  
He darted up the stairs, and looked over his shoulder.  
“C’mon, Albus. Let’s get started.”

Gellert closed the door to his room behind them.  
He knew that he should be pissed that it had never occurred to his mother that it was even possible for him to be gay, but if she was going to be a bigot, he might as well take advantage of it. She would never have let him close the door to his room if he had a girl in there – but his boyfriend? No problem. 

The moment the door was closed, he pushed Albus down onto the bed, and began kissing him.  
“How long do we have? Can you spend the night?”  
“I wish. No, I have to be home by 11.”  
“Seriously? Your curfew tonight is 11?”  
“Mom wants us to go to Grandma’s for the weekend.”  
“Oh for fuck’s sake.”

Albus kissed Gellert, and while kissing him, rolled him over so that Albus was on top. He broke away for a moment.  
“Let’s not spend any of our time arguing, or wishing for things we can’t have, ok? We have four hours, and I want to use every minute of that time.”  
Albus ground against Gellert, and they both groaned.  
“Shit. We are going to need to be quiet, or turn on some music or something.”  
“No music – we won’t be able to hear your Mom coming.”

True. Gellert hated living at home. He hated having to sneak around just to kiss Albus, much less go down on him.  
But just three more months, and it would be summer. And at the end of the summer, he and Albus would be going to college together – literally together – they were going to be roommates. It seemed forever away.  
Gellert growled in frustration. 

“Hey. Tesoro. Relax.”  
Albus had made it his mission in life to collect a seemingly endless supply of pet names in Spanish for Gellert, in honor of them having met in a Spanish class in 8th grade. Hermoso, cariño, querido, amor, corazón, mi vida… Even though Gellert had stopped taking Spanish after 9th grade, and they hadn’t started dating until 11th.

“Seeing how quiet we can be is fun – it’s like – a reminder that we aren’t supposed to be doing this right now. Right? And then, when your parents leave town next weekend, we can be as noisy as we want, and that will be even more fun.”  
Right! Albus was going to be spending Friday night and all day Saturday next weekend – with no one in the house but them. He was going to fuck Albus in the kitchen, and the living room, and the basement…  
Gellert groaned again but more quietly.  
“I love you so much, Albus.”  
“I love you too, Gellert.” Albus smiled. “Now – why don’t you take off your pants?”

2/

Gellert was on the way to lunch when his phone buzzed. It was Albus. He must be on his way to fourth period.

Albus: Can you take Abe and Ari home for me?

Ugh. Aberforth hated Gellert. He had made it clear that he thought that Gellert was ‘corrupting’ his big brother. He was forever threatening to tell their conservative mother that Albus had a boyfriend.  
Gellert imagined that Mrs. Dumbledore wouldn't be too angry, when it came down to it. She loved Albus too much to just cut him off entirely. But it was the principle of the thing. Albus’ brother shouldn’t be so quick to blackmail him all the time. Gellert didn’t have any siblings himself, but he didn’t think that was how brothers were supposed to act.  
But Albus knew all that, and wouldn’t ask Gellert if it weren’t important.

Gellert: I suppose. What’s up?  
Albus: I got caught breaking into Noah’s locker  
Gellert: What the fuck, Albus?  
Albus: He’s been a dick to you. I was going to steal all of his textbooks, and replace them with gay porn. Heterosexist ass.

Gellert had to laugh. He would have loved to have seen Noah opening his locker in front of all of his friends, and a big pile of magazines with naked men on the cover spilling out. 

Gellert: Who caught you?  
Albus: Baxter. Lucky thing, since she likes me so much. And I had only just gotten it open, so – she said she wouldn’t report me or call Mom if I were to stay after today and grade papers for her  
Gellert: Yeah, ok. That’s worth it  
Albus: You know I’ll make it up to you  
Gellert: Looking forward to it  
Albus: I’m sorry to spring this on you last minute

Well, ok. But it wasn’t the ‘last minute’ part that was bothering Gellert so much as the ‘Aberforth’ part.

Gellert: Meet me by your locker at the end of the day?  
Albus: …  
Gellert: We don’t have to. I miss you. Haven’t seen you all day  
Albus: …  
Gellert: I hate we don’t have lunch together  
Albus: You would need to meet me at the locker after school anyway – that’s where I meet Abe when I’m driving him home. So - after 5th period, too? We won’t be able to touch each other at all if after school is the only time I see you  
Gellert: Your texts are so long, LOL  
Gellert: After class is 4 minutes. Skip 5th entirely  
Albus: I can’t skip 5th!  
Gellert: Seriously? 5th is computer science - you know everything already  
Albus: What if we get caught?  
Gellert: We won’t. Auditorium backstage - Nobody’s there 5th  
Albus: …  
Albus: …  
Albus: Yeah, ok. Meet you backstage. Love you!  
Gellert: Love you too

3/

Gellert sprawled on a sofa backstage waiting for Albus.  
And waiting.  
And waiting.  
8 minutes after the start of 5th period, Albus’ head peeked through the curtains, and he whispered, “Gellert?”  
“Yeah, you idiot. I’ve been here waiting for you. Where have you been? What were you thinking, wandering the halls when they’re empty like this? You could have been caught!”  
“Oh, I got a hall pass to the infirmary. I figured that would be safer.”  
Gellert could not believe what a rule-following geek of a boyfriend he had.  
Speaking of which…

“What compelled you to break into Noah’s locker? That’s so unlike you.”  
“I don’t know – cracking a combination lock? It was a fun challenge. And, you know, if he hadn’t gone after you…”  
Gellert smiled. It was true. Albus was crazy protective. That impulse to protect Gellert – and his sister Ariana, for that matter – was one of the few things that could override Albus’ terror of getting into trouble. Sex and intellectual curiosity were, as far as Gellert could tell, the only other things on that list.

"You know, Noah strikes me more as an online porn sort of guy." _Everyone_ struck Gellert as more of an online porn sort of guy. Honestly - magazines? How did Albus even get his hands on them?  
"Good point. I should always run these things by you. But I wanted it to be a surprise."  
Albus did give the very best gifts. This would have been top three, no question.  
"I promise that I would have been very surprised."  
Albus started muttering to himself, re-plotting the prank that never was. "Perhaps it would have been better to make a little shrine to Dylan O'Brien in Noah's locker? It would have been cheaper, but it would have taken more time. And none of Noah's friends probably watch Teen Wolf anyway..."  
Gellert laughed. “Hey - come here. You haven't kissed me hello yet."  
Albus walked over to Gellert and bent down. Just before he kissed him, he said, "Hello."  
Gellert pulled him down onto the sofa and kissed him some more. Then he checked the time.  
"Get up. We don't have much time before the bell rings, and I haven’t gotten to put my mouth on your cock since Friday night.”  
“Not quite four days. How tragic.”  
“It is, dammit. I want to make you come. Please.”  
“Seems I should be the one sucking you off, given that you’re giving my asshole brother a ride home today.”  
“We’ll find a way for you to do that for me later. Right now, I need you in my mouth, Albus. Now.”  
Albus stood in front of Gellert and lowered his pants.  
“I will never get tired of the sight of your beautiful cock, Albus. But I like the feel of you between my lips even better.”

4/

When Gellert got to Albus’ locker after 7th period, Aberforth was already there, arguing with Albus.  
“I don’t see why we have to go home with that fag.”  
“Aberforth! Don’t use language like that – it’s –“  
“Accurate?”  
“Rude. Hateful. Spiteful. Bigoted.”  
“I know why you two are getting an apartment together at Tech. And if Mom knew –“

Gellert intervened.  
“If your mother knew, she would most likely act disappointed, but not do anything to stop Albus, because she loves him. Just like she loves you, God knows why.”  
Albus looked sternly at Gellert – as if he were the one in the wrong.  
Then he spoke to Gellert. “Ariana’s school has already let out. She’ll be waiting for you in the office. I had Mom put you on the list of acceptable people to pick her up back at the beginning of the school year, just in case. You’ll need to show them your driver’s license. Aberforth will show you how to get there.”

Gellert knew how to get there. Albus had told him about Ariana, who went to the middle school at the Pritchard School – which was a school for children with psychological disorders that were sufficiently severe that they couldn’t be served adequately in an ordinary public school. But he’d let Aberforth show him the way, as if he didn’t know where he was going.

He knew he wouldn’t be kissing Albus goodbye. It bothered him that Albus refused. He knew it was because of Aberforth. Noah notwithstanding, most of the people at their school were very supportive. As long as he didn’t push Albus up against a locker, stick his tongue in his mouth, and grind up against him, no one was going to say anything. But Albus let himself be bullied by his younger brother.  
So – instead of a kiss, or even a hug, he gave Albus a sad smile before turning to walk away.  
“Come on, Aberforth. Let’s go get your sister.”

5/

Aberforth had been silent for the ten minute drive to the Pritchard School, so that was – at least not too terrible. And picking up Ariana was easy. Getting everyone back into the truck was slightly more of a production than necessary, but objectively, it didn’t take too long. 

But almost as soon as Gellert started the truck for the 15 minute drive to the Dumbledores, Aberforth started harassing him:  
“I don’t know what my brother sees in a cocksucker like you... He wasn’t a faggot before he met you... I can’t believe you have the nerve to act like you care about him...”  
Gellert’s knuckles whitened on the steering wheel, but he told himself that responding to Aberforth would just make things worse. So he attempted to tune out, counting down the minutes. 14... 13... 12...

Ariana, however, had no qualms about interrupting Aberforth’s stream of hatred. “I like Gellert. He’s nice to me.”  
Gellert smiled, and turned his head slightly – trying to keep an eye on the road while gesturing towards Ariana at the same time. “I like you too, Ari.”  
Aberforth grumbled. “Well that’s just great. You know she likes everyone, right?”  
Gellert chanced a glance at Aberforth. “Sure. That’s one of the things I like about her. It’s a good quality in a person, liking everyone. Too many people seem not to like anyone.”  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
Gellert sighed. This was why he should have stayed quiet.  
“It doesn’t mean anything, Aberforth. Just – relax. You’re almost home.”

“I can’t believe that Al just – abandoned us to you.”  
Abandoned was a strong word. Foisted, maybe. Gellert was starting to regret having been so quick to accept the assignment. But he’d never been able to say no to Albus.  
“But it is no wonder you said yes. Did he offer to suck your cock if you said yes?”  
Gellert gestured towards the backseat.  
“Language, Aberforth! God.”

Aberforth turned in his seat towards Gellert and started shouting.  
“Don’t you fucking tell me what I can say in front of my own sister! She is my sister, not yours! You are disgusting, and I don’t care what my brother thinks he feels for you, you will never be a part of this family!”  
Ariana, who had been making distressed whimpering noises in the backseat, suddenly appeared in the space between the two front seats.  
“Stop! Stop fighting right now!”

Gellert tried to pacify her. “Ariana. We’re not fighting. It’s ok. Aberforth –“  
“We are fucking fighting, asshole!”  
“Ariana. Sweetheart. I need you to put your seatbelt back on.”  
“No no no. Need to make you stop. Stop yelling.”

Then a couple of things happened very quickly.  
Aberforth slammed his hand on the dashboard frightening Ariana.  
Ariana jumped, bumping into Gellert.  
Gellert, distracted, instinctively looked over his shoulder, taking his eyes off the road. 

He didn’t see the stopped school bus, red lights flashing, on the other side of the road.  
He looked back towards the road just in time to see a child crossing the road, but not in time to stop.  
He pulled the wheel hard to the right to avoid hitting the child – and ran into the brick sign marking the entrance to a housing development. 

And Ariana, who had never buckled herself back in, went flying through the windshield.

6/

Albus: Where are you?  
Albus: Why don’t you answer any of my texts?  
Albus: The funeral was yesterday  
Albus: You’re a careful driver, G. I know it wasn’t your fault  
Albus: Reply, dammit!

/////

Albus: It’s been two weeks.  
Albus: Your Mom finally told me you’re at Bathilda’s.  
Albus: Are you going to school there?  
Albus: Forget it. That was a stupid question  
Albus: I miss you

/////

Albus: Don’t fucking ghost me, Gellert  
Albus: I love you  
Albus: What the hell?

/////

Albus: It’s not like I don’t know where Bathilda lives  
Gellert: ...  
Albus: We are going to talk about this  
Gellert: No, Al. We’re not.  
Albus: Oh thank God  
Albus: I mean, not thank God we’re not talking, but  
Albus: You answered!!  
Gellert: Don’t get used to it  
Albus: Nice  
Gellert: Stop texting Albus  
Albus: ...  
Gellert: I mean it  
Albus: What are you saying exactly. Fucking don’t break up with me by just ignoring my texts, you coward  
Gellert: You don’t want to be with the person who killed your sister  
Albus: You don’t know what I want  
Gellert: Ok  
Gellert: Maybe I don’t want to be with you.  
Albus: ...  
Gellert: Maybe I don’t want to go with you to Tech in the fall.  
Gellert: Maybe I don’t want to look at you and be reminded all the time that I’m a murderer.  
Gellert: Just forget it  
Gellert: Find someone else’s cock to suck

Come on Albus, don't text back. Don't text back.  
He didn't.

7/

The trial that summer went better than Gellert had expected. And worse. He didn’t say much about what had happened in the truck. He figured that Albus wouldn’t thank him for incriminating Aberforth. After all, he had always seemed to prefer Aberforth to him anyway. Otherwise, why would he have cared more about making Aberforth comfortable than giving him one last goodbye kiss?  
For months, he had been grieving that kiss that he never got in front of the lockers that afternoon, taking it for granted that there would be another kiss on another day.  
But he grieved Ariana so much more. The only person in that family who had really liked him.

So it hurt that sparing Aberforth meant implicating her. He told the judge that he had been distracted by Ariana leaning into the front seat, and had taken his eyes off the road when he turned back to ask her to put on her seatbelt.  
The bus driver spoke on his behalf, testifying that he had acted quickly to save the life of the child.  
The police officer who had been the first to arrive on the scene had testified that he had seen many similar collisions, and that he believed that Ariana would still be alive if she had been wearing her seatbelt.  
Involuntary manslaughter. No jail time. Gellert had expected to go to jail. Wanted it. Instead, it seemed like the judge was saying that Ariana’s death didn’t really matter. He felt ill. 

When the trial was over, Gellert turned around and scanned the room. Albus was there, sitting on the opposite side of the courtroom from his mother and his brother – sitting on Gellert’s side of the courtroom.  
Gellert met his eyes briefly. He didn’t want him back. He didn’t. It was time to move on. 

8/

It had never felt right. Alex was good looking, sure. And he liked the same bands that Gellert did, and could always tell when Gellert was in a bad mood. But – there was something wrong about it. It wasn’t his stupid sense of humor, exactly. Or his embarrassing fashion sense. Or his tendency to only notice once they’d made it to the cash register that he’d ‘left his wallet at home.’

No, the problem wasn’t with who Alex was, but who he wasn’t.  
He had no appreciation for campy television.  
He had no fierce protective instinct towards a handful of people he cared about.  
He had no interest in subjects outside of his one area of interest.  
He didn’t smile at strangers’ babies, or make Gellert stop and tie his shoes when they were untied.  
He wasn’t snuggly, he wasn’t precise, he wasn’t resourceful... 

He wasn’t Albus.

His cousin Jenny arrived with her pickup truck, and she and Gellert loaded up a few boxes and a futon and a bookshelf.  
“Is this all?” she asked.  
“Almost,” Gellert replied.  
He went into the apartment, and came back out holding a cat carrier.  
“Oooo...” said Jenny, “What a beautiful cat! What’s her name?”  
Gellert smiled sadly. “His name is Hermoso.”

9/

Gellert got up early in the morning and made coffee. He liked to be the only one awake in the house – he liked sitting on the back porch and watching the mist rise up off the grass.  
Aunt Bathilda came out, holding her own cup of coffee. “I didn’t know you were here, Gellert! I didn’t think I’d see you until the end of term.”  
“I needed a weekend away. You mind?”  
Bathilda bent down and kissed him on the top of his head, as if he were still five. “I’m always happy to see you, dear. Are you hungry?”  
“Not yet.”  
They sat there silently, waiting to see what animals might show up if they were quiet enough. It wasn’t unusual to see deer, or a hawk. Gellert wished he’d grown up here, instead of in a sterile suburb – instead of –

“Gellert?” Bathilda came back out from the kitchen, holding an envelope. He hadn’t even noticed that she had left. “This came for you last month – now that you’re here, I don’t have to wait until December to give it to you.”  
“You could have just forwarded it on to me, Aunt B.”  
“No, I couldn’t have.”  
She handed the envelope to Gellert, and he froze. All it said on the outside of the envelope was ‘Gellert,’ but he recognized the handwriting. Albus. Gellert looked up at his aunt blankly.

“He wrote a letter to me asking me to give this to you.”  
Traitor! He should have known that Bathilda liked Albus better than him. Just like his mother.  
“Dear. You are crushing that letter. Do try to relax.”  
“Relax?” Gellert almost shouted. Then he took a breath, because he did want to calm down. He didn’t want to yell at his aunt. “How did he persuade you to play courier for him?”  
“Gellert. It would not have been necessary if you hadn’t changed your phone number and your email address and locked down your social media and gone off to a school you had never previously considered. There was no other way for him to reach you.”  
“He should learn to fucking take a hint,” muttered Gellert. “Stalker.”

His Aunt Bathilda became stern – even angry. “Gellert Grindelwald! A stalker is a person with a dangerous obsession. You will not minimize the experiences of other people who have had literally murderous people following them like a hawk follows a rabbit, just because you want to justify your anger at Albus. If you had gone to see him even just once after his sister’s death, he might have been able to let this go.”  
“I couldn’t.”  
No. He couldn’t. Because he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from taking Albus back.

Bathilda shook her head.  
“Gellert, I hope that you know that if I thought that Albus was a danger to you, or if I thought that you were frightened by his attention, then I would be the first to help you go get a restraining order.  
"But he has not been harrassing you. He has not made any effort to contact you in more than three years. He says this is going to be his last try, and I, for one, believe him. He says that he is sorry that he let the matter go for so long, but that he didn't want to keep reaching out when it seemed you didn't want him to, and that he hopes that you have been able to move on, the way that you wanted him to do. None of that says 'stalker' to me.”  
Gellert sighed, and set the envelope down on the empty chair beside him.  
Bathilda picked it back up and thrust it at him.  
“You, young man, were never so happy as you were with Albus! You owe it to the both of you to at least open the letter. _That’s_ why I didn’t mail it to you. I didn’t want it to end up in the recycling bin, unlooked at.”

Bathlida knelt down in front of Gellert, brushed his hair away from his face, and kissed his forehead.  
“I love you, more than anything.”  
It looked like she was waiting for an acknowledgement, so Gellert nodded uncertainly.  
“I’m going back into the kitchen. Take your time.”

And Gellert was once again alone on the back porch, but it was an entirely different place from what it had been less than an hour before. Now, instead of hearing the early morning birdsong, he saw the place in the yard where he and Albus had once lay side by side on their backs – Albus pointing out the constellations, and Gellert making up lewd ones to make him laugh. (‘And that one is the testicles of Dionysus...’) He drank his coffee and remembered that the first time he’d tried coffee was in a doughnut shop with Albus. It was barely drinkable with the mug filled only halfway with coffee, and ‘topped off’ with milk. Albus had laughed at him for that, as if he had not himself just put 6 packets of sugar in his.

Gellert was not alone on the back porch. He was with Albus. 

10/

Gellert,  
I’m sending this through your Aunt Bathilda. I figure that if she doesn’t know where you are, then no one does. Four years later, it still feels odd not to know where you are, or what you are doing. I miss you, Gell. I still miss you.  
I imagine you’ve found someone else by now, and if so – I apologize. This might seem disrespectful to them, and that’s not what I want. I want you to be happy. I mean, I want you to be happy with me, obviously, but since that’s apparently not an option, I hope you’ve found someone else to be happy with.  
I’m not writing to ask you to take me back (would you, though – if I asked?)  
I just wanted you to know that I noticed the day of the trial that you were not telling the whole story. I knew there was more to it, and Aberforth wouldn’t tell me anything aside from – some very rude things about you that I’m not going to honor by writing here. Anyway, I finally managed to get him drunk enough to get the story out of him.  
I should never have asked you to take Aberforth anywhere in your truck. One of the few safe places you had: your bedroom, your truck, your Aunt Bathilda’s house, and backstage in the school auditorium. I knew that. It was disrespectful of me to ask you to sully one of those few safe spaces with my hateful brother. The things he said to you! I’m ashamed that it surprised me that he had said those sorts of things in front of Ariana when he said them in front of me all the time.  
I was a coward not to hit him. Not to grab your ass in front of him, just to piss him off. (Well, mostly because I loved your ass, and I shouldn’t deprive us for such a bastard as my younger brother – but at least a little bit to piss him off, too.)  
I’m sorry that I didn’t stand up to him the whole time we were together, and I’m sorry that I asked you to spend time with him. If I hadn’t – well, I guess we both know that day would have ended very differently.  
I felt like it was my fault for a long time. And I imagine you thought it was your fault. Aberforth’s a dick – he thinks it is everyone’s fault but his – you, me, Ariana, mom.  
I’m not speaking to Aberforth anymore. He’s cost me too much, and he reminds me of what I cost myself by not waking up sooner.  
Mom died about sixth months ago – not sure if you heard. I came out to her just before she died, and she said that she had known all along. She asked how you were, said that we’d made a good couple. God, I was stupid. So fucking stupid.  
I hope you read all this. Remember how you used to tease me about how long my texts were? I guess my letters are even longer.  
I love you still – so much it hurts. Please – if there isn’t someone in your life who would be hurt by you getting back in touch with me, send me a text at least – I still have the same number.  
Love always,  
Albus

Gellert re-read it before wadding it up and throwing it in the kitchen trashcan. 

11/

Gellert liked being in a city big enough for more than one club. It was harder to find work here – the market was saturated. But when he did get work, he was getting to work with more talented people, so temping to fill in the employment gaps was worth it. Better work meant a greater likelihood of finding someone to build a solid relationship with. More clubs meant an easier time hooking up in the interim.  
Which was the purpose in being here tonight. Gellert hadn’t been able to make a relationship work with anyone since Alex, but he had never had any problem finding someone to have sex with. He had only been here an hour, and had already caught the eyes of three different guys. Now time to figure out if any of them were worth following up with.

And then – Albus came in. He hadn’t seen Albus since the trial – six years? But there was no question it was him. He came in alone, but seemed to know a number of people there – including one of the bartenders. He looked good.  
Gellert felt sick. He couldn’t bear to see Albus now, after having clearly hurt him so badly – after having avoided him for so long. He had been – what did his therapist say? Self-sabotaging? That. But now – now he was afraid of what Albus might say – how Albus might react to seeing him. Would he be angry? Indifferent? Which would be worse? Indifferent would definitely be worse.

Time to make his exit. But he wasn’t leaving alone – having seen Albus was enough of a reason to need to forget everything. Nothing like sex to make him forget everything – for a little while, anyway.  
Now which of the three...? There – the tall guy with the short brown hair. He looked nothing like Albus, and his cock was bound to be huge. And he was right by the door. Perfect. He could likely make it out without Albus spotting him.  
But like an idiot, as he started to head out the door with whatshisname, he looked over his shoulder and caught Albus’ eye. Albus nodded at him, and turned back to his drink. Alright then. 

They had made it a block, before he heard steps behind him. There was Albus, looking furious. “Brad!” he shouted. Ah. That’s what his name was, then. ‘Brad’ turned around, and when he did he turned white, and dropped his hand off of Gellert’s ass.  
And then, Albus drew back his arm, and punched Brad in the face, knocking him to the ground.  
Albus shook out his hand. “Fuck, that hurts. Every time.”  
'Every time?' How many people had Albus been hitting? Who even was this man?

“Albus, you can’t hit someone just because they were going to fuck me.”  
Brad, now sitting on the sidewalk, said, “In the interest of accuracy, I was just looking for a blowjob.”  
“Well. That’s disappointing.” Gellert had not meant to say that out loud. Albus rolled his eyes.  
“Of course you just wanted a blow job. Because ‘oral isn’t cheating,’ right Brad?”  
Oh God. This was Albus’ ex. Why did the universe hate him?

“Listen, Albus, clearly this guy is not worth getting in trouble over. So –“  
“Sweet of you to be concerned,” Albus said, sarcastically, “But Brad’s not going to tell, are you Brad?” and he put his foot against Brad’s shoulder and pushed him back down flat on the sidewalk.  
“This asshole cheated on my brother. Repeatedly.”  
Aberforth? Well that – made a weird kind of sense.

“You don’t even talk to your brother,” spat Brad.  
“And neither do you.”  
“Yes I –“  
“And Neither. Do. You.” Albus repeated, menacingly.  
“Right. Neither do I. Can I go now?”  
“Please do.”  
Brad got up and ran off.

Gellert looked at Albus in shock.  
“Meth dealer,” Albus said. “Also a junior accounts manager, but meth dealer is why he won’t say anything.”  
Unending speechlessness. When did he fall down this rabbit hole?  
“Are you ok? You look pretty shaken up.”  
“I – you – you live here?”  
“Sure, I live here.”  
“And you, umm - have a job, I guess...?”

“We’re not doing this right now, Gellert. First time you’ve seen me in nearly six years, and you were going to hook up with a complete stranger just to avoid me.”  
To be fair, Gellert had been going to hook up with a complete stranger anyway. He just hadn’t spent as long as usual getting to know said stranger before leaving with him, or he certainly would not have left with Brad.  
“If you want to talk, text me and I’ll make time to talk to you later. Sometime you haven’t been drinking, and I haven’t done you out of what I understand to be a mediocre blow job. Though that might just have been trash talking, who knows. Anyway, I’m sure that you would have – never mind. Not appropriate.”

“How do I - ?”  
“Same number as before. If you don’t remember it, I gave Jeff at the bar permission to give it to you. Are you good to get home by yourself?”  
“I didn’t have time to get drunk enough for that to be a problem.”  
“Bad luck.”  
Albus walked back towards the bar. Gellert watched him all the way – and when Albus had disappeared through the door, Gellert continued on to his apartment.

12/

He didn’t remember the number. Who memorized phone numbers? He had always just gone to ‘recent calls’ and tapped on Albus’ name. Shit, he couldn’t remember what his own number was, sometimes.  
So Gellert gathered up what little courage he had left, and went back to the club the next night, not long before last call. He went up to the bar and asked for Jeff.  
Jeff was not inclined to give him Albus' number before giving him a lecture.

“He still loves you, you know.”  
Gellert did not know. He didn’t know how Jeff could possibly know, for that matter.  
“Don’t start anything you can’t finish.”  
Which meant – what exactly?  
“If you do get back together, when you leave him, break up with him like a man. Don’t just fucking disappear on him again. He’s still not over the first time.”  
‘_When_ you leave him?’ What the fuck?

“He’d take you back tomorrow.”  
“I really don’t think so.”  
“He would. But so help me, don’t take advantage of him. Do not fuck him if you don’t intend to stay. If you’re not even going to try.”  
For someone Gellert had never met, Jeff seemed awfully angry at him.

But then his tone changed. “Please, Gellert. Albus means a lot to me –“  
Jeff looked – grief-stricken? Fuck. _Jeff_ was the ex. And Albus was asking him to give Gellert his number?  
“I’m sorry, Jeff. I – can figure out how to get in touch with Albus another way. I don’t need to –“

Jeff sighed. “Albus isn’t an asshole. You know that. I hope you know that, anyway. He’s – he doesn’t know how I feel about him. He wouldn’t – I don’t know if he’s dated anyone since you. If he did, it was in college. Not since coming here, he hasn’t.”  
Ah. Not an ex, then. Of course he wasn’t. Albus might be oblivious, but he would never ask this of someone he knew was interested. Jeff was right. Albus was not an asshole. 

“Listen, Jeff. It’s been a long time, as you apparently know. I could not have imagined that he still talked about me. I don’t know what I want from Albus yet.” Lie. He did know. “But I’ve missed him for years, and I need him back in my life. I can assure you that I would _never_ use him for a quick fuck.”

Jeff looked at Gellert for an uncomfortably long time.  
“Ok. Give me your phone.”  
Jeff texted himself from Gellert’s phone, then sent Albus’ contact over to Gellert from his own phone.  
“Now we have each other’s number too. I’m one of Albus’ best friends. If you two do end up getting back together – well.”

He set a drink in front of Gellert. “Manhattan, right? On the house. You deserve a drink – coming in here after Albus’ number. Good man.”  
Ok then.

13/

It took him almost a month (which is to say, three therapy sessions) to work up the courage to text Albus.

Gellert: Hey  
Gellert: It’s Gellert  
Albus: ...  
Gellert: I’m sorry it took me so long  
Albus: Whatever.  
Gellert: Not this time. I mean, this time too, but all of it  
Albus: No.  
Gellert: ??  
Albus: That is not something you text, Gellert. Six years? And you text a half-assed apology? No. We talk about it in person, or not at all.  
Gellert: You are using a lot of periods  
Albus: Yeah, asshole. I’m doing it on purpose.  
Albus: I’m not oblivious to the meaning of it.  
Albus: I did not lose the ability to function socially after you left me.  
Albus: Do I have to spell out that I’m pissed off at you? Seriously?  
Gellert: ...  
Albus: Tuesday. Mellie’s. The one by the park.  
Gellert: I know the one. Surprised I haven’t seen you there  
Albus: Me too, since I’ve seen you there a couple of times. 

Gellert felt terrible. He’d been here for a year. Had Albus been here that whole time? How many times had he passed him on the street, or been in the same room with him and never noticed? God, how many times had Albus seen him leave somewhere with another man?

Albus: Before work?  
Gellert: I’ve got a production at the moment – before work is late for me  
Gellert: ...  
Gellert: If we meet at 2pm, I wouldn’t have to leave right away  
Albus: Ok. I’ll take a half-day. 2pm is good – it shouldn’t be too crowded

Gellert noticed that Albus had left off the period, and hoped that he had done it on purpose.

14/

Gellert arrived at Mellie’s at 1:30. He didn’t want to make Albus wait. No, he didn’t want to make Albus wait again. Wait more.  
He had already had two double cappuccinos and an iced cinnamon bun by the time Albus got there. Not that he was supposed to even have cookies anymore, and here he’d gotten the highest carb item on the menu. His agent would be furious. Whatever. Fuck his agent.  
But he was unaccustomed to the sugar, and he almost never had so much caffeine so quickly, so he was bouncing his leg up and down and tapping on the table by the time Albus arrived. 

So handsome. He looked even better than he had Senior Year. Why had he left him again? Ah, yes. Self-hatred. It was obvious in retrospect – he would have to hate himself in order to let go of someone so perfect.  
Albus took one look at Gellert and laughed.  
“You are a wreck. Come on. You probably need a walk more than you need another coffee.”

That was true. And Albus probably also remembered that Gellert hated to make eye contact when talking about anything difficult. Walking side by side would be perfect. Walking with Albus would be – had always been – perfect.

“It was weird to see you at the club.”  
“I bet. I can’t say I’m sorry to have interrupted.”  
“It wouldn’t have meant anything.”  
Albus huffed impatiently. Yeah, that had probably been the wrong thing to say.

“Don’t you miss me at all?”  
Well. Getting straight to it, then.  
Gellert let out a breath.  
“Of course I do.”

“’Of course’ implies that the answer you are giving is obvious, and I’m sure you know that it is not obvious at all.”  
“No – I do know that I’ve done nothing to give you reason to believe that. The obvious bit is – it is obvious to me that I couldn’t not miss you. You were everything to me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I...“  
Gellert trailed off. This confession was getting a little too – uncomfortable? No, excruciating.

“No, please. Keep going,” Albus said in a hard and distant voice.  
“You are going to make this difficult, aren’t you?”  
“It is already difficult. I’m just not going out of my way to make it easier.”

“I miss you every day, Albus. It rips me up inside. I hold it against everyone that they are not you. And at the same time, I’ve been trying to ignore the fact that my cowardice is the only reason we didn’t stay together.  
“I was afraid. In the very beginning, yes, but for years afterwards too, that if we were together, you wouldn’t be able to look at me without seeing the person who killed your sister. It would have hurt too much to see our relationship die a slow death, eroded away by things we couldn’t talk about and resentments that we were trying to hide. I didn’t want to stick around to see you grow to dislike me.”

“So in other words, you broke up with me before I could break up with you? How very high school.”  
“Well, we _were_ in high school, Albus.”  
Albus laughed.  
“Yes we were.”

Albus continued, “Do you think we could start fresh? As if we were just meeting each other, who we are now?”  
Gellert thought about it. “No.”  
Albus looked hurt, and a bit puzzled.  
“No, because we aren’t just meeting each other. We’re starting out – I’m starting out in love -" In his periphery, he saw Albus stiffen, so he changed tracks. "I’m starting out with memories of you and knowing things about you, and you are too. So – I’ll go as slow as you need to go – going on dates and so on – but –“

Albus turned towards Gellert, pulled him tight against him, and kissed him, not at all gently. They kissed long, and deep, and desperately, with all the emotion of lovers who have been kept apart for years.  
Albus was the first to break away. He laid a hand on Gellert’s chest, and said, “I only want to go a little slow.” Then he kissed him again. “Maybe not slow at all.” And another kiss. “How about you?”  
Gellert laughed. “My lease is up in three months. I have a month before I need to tell my landlord if I’m planning not to stay another year.”  
Albus nuzzled against Gellert’s neck. Gellert smelled the familiar spicy smell of Albus’ hair. It smelled like home.  
“One month,” said Albus, “Perfect.” Then he looked down, as if a bit uncertain, “I think you’d like my apartment...”  
“I’m sure I will,” said Gellert.

The alarm on Gellert’s phone chimed.  
“Do you want to come to my place and hang out while I get ready?”  
“I’d better not. I’d at least like to go slower than that.”  
“We wouldn’t have to –“  
Albus rolled his eyes. “Have you met us? Yes we would. Public places only – for a day or two at least. I need to – start believing that this is real first.”

“Ok, well – I’m going to have to go then – can I text you around midnight?”  
“Gellert, the answer to that is always going to be yes. Always.”  
“I lo –“  
Albus put his hand over Gellert’s mouth.  
“Oh no you don’t. I’m really not ready to hear that from you yet. But – me too.”

15/

Jeff: So – How did it go?  
Gellert: Jeff?  
Jeff: Yes, Jeff. Who else would it be? I’m not going to let some random patron at the bar steal my phone!  
Gellert: Jesus. You text like Albus  
Gellert: How did what go?  
Jeff: I told you – I’m one of Albus’ best friends  
Gellert: ...  
Gellert: Didn’t he tell you?  
Jeff: He did. Now I’m asking you  
Gellert: I love him. I still fucking love him.  
Gellert: I knew that, but somehow now I know it more  
Jeff: Good  
Jeff: I had better be the best man for one of you two losers

Gellert set down his phone, rolled over in bed, and kissed Albus, who in spite of his earlier resolution to wait, had ended up on Gellert’s doorstep at 12:05. (‘Fuck it, I’ve been waiting six years.’)  
“Are you ready to hear it yet?”  
“Hmm. Not yet...”  
Albus climbed on top of Gellert and looked down at him.  
“Ok. Now.”  
Gellert looked up at Albus – beautiful, resilient, geeky, kind Albus – he looked up at Albus smiling down at him, as if Gellert had never abandoned him, as if Gellert were a treasure he’d been looking for his whole life and only now found. He looked up at Albus and said, “I love you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I had never written from Gellert's POV before - I really liked doing it - thinking I'll have to do more :)


End file.
